No BS affirmations singletons need to remember

Listen up single people; we’ve all been there. We’ve had days where we know being single is awesome and we value our independence and freedom and we have days where we drown ourselves in a pool of our own tears because shit, why are we single and why won’t anyone love us?

I’m definitely one of those people. I spend more time embracing singledom than I do worrying about not having someone to love and to look after me and cuddle me when times get rough. But even though I’m happy with my single status, sometimes I need to remind myself that being single is all good in the hood. More often than not, we’re single because we choose to be! So before you wallow into your pillow and tuck into a huge tub of Ben and Jerry’s, I’ve compiled a list of no-bull affirmations to remind you that hey, single is actually okay.

You’re not going to be single forever

No, I’m not saying this just to make you feel better about your current situation. You WILL find someone when you’re ready. Hell, you’ll probably find someone when the last thing you want is to find your perfect match! I’m a firm believer of there being someone for everyone and right now, you may not have someone but that someone will turn up and you’ll be like “OH HEY YOU’RE MY SOMEONE” and then you’ll remember this post and be like “OH THAT PERSON WAS RIGHT”. I love happy endings.

You can be selfish and look out for number one guilt-free

It’s important to always look out for number one – no I don’t mean partners, I mean you. Being single is good for the soul because you can be selfish and do things for only you. You don’t have to factor someone else’s’ thoughts and opinions into your decisions; the only one that matters is yours.

Want to buy that Louis Vuitton bag? Fucking do it. Want to stay out with your girls until 7am in the morning and make poor decisions and wind up waking up in some hotties bed? Who’s gonna stop you? Want to dye your hair fluorescent green? YOLO dude, YOLO.

The point is you don’t have a significant other to influence your decisions. You’re making decisions for you. Besides, you end up learning more about yourself, what makes you tick, have a stronger sense of self and end up being completely self-relient which is very sexy might I add. These are very important qualities to have, not just as a single person but for when you’re in a relationship as well.

And besides, you can order all the foods and enjoy it yourself without having to share with the other person… most important point…

You could be in a relationship if you wanted to

And you know I’m right. You could download Tinder or Badoo or OkCupid, hit people up with some smooth pick up lines, go on a few dates and presto, suddenly you’re in a thing. Long or short term, the point is you’re in a thing.

But you’re not. You know why? Because you don’t want to be. Because you don’t want to lower your standards or make compromises because you know your self-worth. Better yet, you’re still trying to work it all out so until you do, you’re just going to stay single. And hey, that’s totally okay.

Relationships are HARD

And that’s the reality of it. We ALWAYS see the good parts of relationships, whether it’s in rom-coms, sitting in the theatre or at dinner next to a loved up couple or even when we’re at work and our co-workers give us the 4-1-1 on all the romantic things their partner’s done for them.

DON’T DESPAIR. Deep down you know it’s not all smooth sailing and it takes a lot to keep a relationship afloat. You gotta take the good with the bad. When you’re single, you’re investing your emotions and energy on yourself, your family and your friends and let’s be honest, sometimes that’s more than enough. So embrace your somewhat free time while you can because as soon as you get into a relationship, you know it’s going to take a lot out of you.

And just think about the time your best friend and their partner were fighting over something petty and then they tried to get you involved and you’re like HELL NO and then you bolt and then think to yourself “thank fuck i’m single”. Or the time you had to comfort your friend because their partner was out drinking and didn’t tell them and they’re currently experiencing trust issues? Yeah, just keep hold of that memory. Here’s a lil lol for you:

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Good things take time

This is applicable to so many things, not just relationships. It’s important that we don’t just settle for the sake of settling. It’s also important that we take the time to look at ways to get to know ourselves and love ourselves. Because it’s true what they say: how can you love and appreciate someone else when you can’t even love and appreciate yourself?

Take the time to cultivate and nourish yourself before you commit to cultivating and nourishing someone and something else.

So there you have it people – my no BS affirmation list for singletons. Hopefully you found it useful. Little reminders are so important! I know my single friends definitely need these reminders from time to time and it’s totally okay.

If you’ve got something else to add to the list, I encourage you to do so as I’d love to hear your thoughts!

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… cheese I know but dat accuracy dough…

Oh hey, I quit.

Guess what? I’ve been unemployed for over a week. Wow. It feels really surreal saying that out loud (or typing it for that matter!). It’s still sinking in. I remember before I got sick, when my alarm went off it was such a struggle to get up and I’d lie in bed starring blankly at my ceiling wondering if I really needed the job. I’d daydream about the unemployed life and it’d leave me with a smile on my face… until I realise the reality is I have bills and responsibilities and I’m an adult (more like a bad-ult). Then I’d roll my eyes, grunt loudly and get out of bed. It was never easy and to be honest, it still isn’t easy.

But since being unemployed, I never thought that I’d actually miss my job and making money. Like seriously. I feel kind of like I have no purpose and that sort of makes me sad because I think as humans we need to have a purpose to feel somewhat complete.

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So why did I quit my job? There were a number of factors that came into play and the decision wasn’t an easy one at all.  In fact, the thought never crossed my mind until my sister suggested I quit my job and move back home to focus on my health and getting better. So as you can see, health played a major part in my decision.

I loved my job. I loved what I was doing. But I found myself loving it less and less and feeling more and more unmotivated and that was because I was too busy thinking about the implications my health was having on my life. I couldn’t come to work so I was letting my team down and I wasn’t there for my stakeholders. I couldn’t design and deliver communications plans if I wasn’t there to understand a project and think of radical ways to market and engage with the audience. It also felt like there were some radical changes coming up in the organisation that could have a negative impact on my role and I. I also felt lost 99% of the time.

My mental health started deteriorating because my brain was on overdrive thinking about pain, letting the side down, not feeling inspired, wondering how I was going to pay my bills because I was on unpaid leave and wanting to literally give up because being optimistic felt 150% harder when you’re unwell. If you’ve read my ‘They’re definitely two of the hardest things’ blog, you’ll also know that I was trying to keep my emotions at bay (and failing miserably).

So yeah, I took the plunge and handed in my resignation. I left my flat and moved back to a small city to live with my parents. Yes, I’m 27 and I’m currently living with my parents.

I have days where I feel like it was possibly the worst decision ever particularly because it felt like I’d given up on my career. BUT deep down I know that’s not the case at all and I’m doing it because I’m focusing on getting number one (me!) better and ready for my next big adventure.

It’s hard when you’re an ambitious workaholic like me to go from spending ten hour days in the office to spending no days in the office (unless blogging counts as a day in the office?). But I know that this is possibly the best decision for me and when I’m doing better, I’ll return to the workforce, guns blazing and ready to conquer the world. Plus this gives me time to focus on the things I enjoy… like reading and writing (yay more blogs!).

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Oh! You wanna know something funny? I was completing a food/stress diary for my nutritionist and it’s incredible to think that I haven’t been stressed out in the last week. It’s such a strange feeling to not be stressed, worried or upset about something. Methinks I could get used to this life.

Tell me, have you had to take the plunge and take some time off to focus on you?