No BS affirmations singletons need to remember

Listen up single people; we’ve all been there. We’ve had days where we know being single is awesome and we value our independence and freedom and we have days where we drown ourselves in a pool of our own tears because shit, why are we single and why won’t anyone love us?

I’m definitely one of those people. I spend more time embracing singledom than I do worrying about not having someone to love and to look after me and cuddle me when times get rough. But even though I’m happy with my single status, sometimes I need to remind myself that being single is all good in the hood. More often than not, we’re single because we choose to be! So before you wallow into your pillow and tuck into a huge tub of Ben and Jerry’s, I’ve compiled a list of no-bull affirmations to remind you that hey, single is actually okay.

You’re not going to be single forever

No, I’m not saying this just to make you feel better about your current situation. You WILL find someone when you’re ready. Hell, you’ll probably find someone when the last thing you want is to find your perfect match! I’m a firm believer of there being someone for everyone and right now, you may not have someone but that someone will turn up and you’ll be like “OH HEY YOU’RE MY SOMEONE” and then you’ll remember this post and be like “OH THAT PERSON WAS RIGHT”. I love happy endings.

You can be selfish and look out for number one guilt-free

It’s important to always look out for number one – no I don’t mean partners, I mean you. Being single is good for the soul because you can be selfish and do things for only you. You don’t have to factor someone else’s’ thoughts and opinions into your decisions; the only one that matters is yours.

Want to buy that Louis Vuitton bag? Fucking do it. Want to stay out with your girls until 7am in the morning and make poor decisions and wind up waking up in some hotties bed? Who’s gonna stop you? Want to dye your hair fluorescent green? YOLO dude, YOLO.

The point is you don’t have a significant other to influence your decisions. You’re making decisions for you. Besides, you end up learning more about yourself, what makes you tick, have a stronger sense of self and end up being completely self-relient which is very sexy might I add. These are very important qualities to have, not just as a single person but for when you’re in a relationship as well.

And besides, you can order all the foods and enjoy it yourself without having to share with the other person… most important point…

You could be in a relationship if you wanted to

And you know I’m right. You could download Tinder or Badoo or OkCupid, hit people up with some smooth pick up lines, go on a few dates and presto, suddenly you’re in a thing. Long or short term, the point is you’re in a thing.

But you’re not. You know why? Because you don’t want to be. Because you don’t want to lower your standards or make compromises because you know your self-worth. Better yet, you’re still trying to work it all out so until you do, you’re just going to stay single. And hey, that’s totally okay.

Relationships are HARD

And that’s the reality of it. We ALWAYS see the good parts of relationships, whether it’s in rom-coms, sitting in the theatre or at dinner next to a loved up couple or even when we’re at work and our co-workers give us the 4-1-1 on all the romantic things their partner’s done for them.

DON’T DESPAIR. Deep down you know it’s not all smooth sailing and it takes a lot to keep a relationship afloat. You gotta take the good with the bad. When you’re single, you’re investing your emotions and energy on yourself, your family and your friends and let’s be honest, sometimes that’s more than enough. So embrace your somewhat free time while you can because as soon as you get into a relationship, you know it’s going to take a lot out of you.

And just think about the time your best friend and their partner were fighting over something petty and then they tried to get you involved and you’re like HELL NO and then you bolt and then think to yourself “thank fuck i’m single”. Or the time you had to comfort your friend because their partner was out drinking and didn’t tell them and they’re currently experiencing trust issues? Yeah, just keep hold of that memory. Here’s a lil lol for you:


Good things take time

This is applicable to so many things, not just relationships. It’s important that we don’t just settle for the sake of settling. It’s also important that we take the time to look at ways to get to know ourselves and love ourselves. Because it’s true what they say: how can you love and appreciate someone else when you can’t even love and appreciate yourself?

Take the time to cultivate and nourish yourself before you commit to cultivating and nourishing someone and something else.

So there you have it people – my no BS affirmation list for singletons. Hopefully you found it useful. Little reminders are so important! I know my single friends definitely need these reminders from time to time and it’s totally okay.

If you’ve got something else to add to the list, I encourage you to do so as I’d love to hear your thoughts!


… cheese I know but dat accuracy dough…

Today, I’m choosing myself

Today’s blog is a creative piece that I felt I needed to write. It’s almost like a letter saying hello to myself and goodbye to the old. I hope you like it as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it.


There have been plenty of days where I’ve thought about you and wondered how you were doing, what you were doing, if you’re thinking about me, if you’re thinking about us and if you’re counting the hours, minutes and seconds until we see each other again.

Today is not one of those days. Today is the day where I’m going to think about how I’m doing, what I’m doing, what I’m going to accomplish and who I need to be. Today is the day that I’m going to stop wasting my time looking at my phone, waiting for your message or worst yet, waiting for you.

Today I’m going to scroll through memes and enjoy them without thinking of sharing them with you; I’m going to lie in the spot that you used to sleep in and enjoy the space instead of wishing you were in it. I’m going to text my friends and get excited when they reply without wishing it was you I was texting. I’m going to walk through the park in the rain with a smile on my face without wishing you were there with me. Today, I’m going to do everything for me without you having any power or influence over any of my decisions and my happiness.

I know it’s not going to be an easy ride but it starts with one day; a day to acknowledge that you’ve had plenty of chances and opportunities, that I’ve given you so much more than you’ve given back, that I’ve lost myself with you and that I’m better off without you. Today I’m choosing myself; I’m going to let go of all the thoughts in my head and the heaviness in my heart and I’m going to heal and come out stronger.

It’s easy for us to choose others’ happiness and thoughts over our own; it’s harder to focus on living and enjoying life when we’re too busy thinking about what we’ve done to push someone away. It’s not easy loving yourself when you’re busy loving someone else and blaming yourself when they don’t return the feelings because you feel like it’s your fault. Of course it’s your fault; why aren’t you perfect? You need to be more perfect. You hate yourself for not being their idea of perfection.

But that’s no longer going to be case. I am perfect; they’re just not perfect for me. Today I choose to accept myself and my shortcomings and I’m going to listen to myself. I’m going to learn to love myself and work through my flaws and I’m going to grow and become stronger. It’s the beginning of a decision that will last forever. It’s the beginning of me choosing to no longer put you ahead of me. It’s the beginning of me forgetting you and choosing me.

Today, I’m choosing myself.

040fd4201750ad7021d0398385f5b185.jpg Pinterest

They’re definitely two of the hardest things

In the last month, I did two of what I consider the hardest, scariest things: one, I put my heart on the line and told a boy how I really felt rather than dismissed my feelings and running away from them and two, I let him go.

In my 27 years of life, I’ve never actually told a boy how I felt. I’m the type of person that doesn’t like feeling vulnerable and exposed. I like to give the façade that I’m unbreakable and strong, but deep down I’m a fucking marshmallow. Now dear reader, you know the truth.


If you read my last post, you would’ve guessed that being sick made me realise that life is short and that I need to get my shit in order. One of the things I thought was to tell this boy the truth and let whatever happens, happen. It went well at the time… and then it didn’t a week later.

In the last month, I’ve been through a tumultuous rollercoaster ride of emotions. I’ve been very high, very low, very neutral and I never know what to expect when I wake up in the morning. While it may seem normal and exciting for us as humans to wake up and live for the unpredictability of life, it’s actually quite scary when you’re a bit of an emotional wreck like I’ve been lately. I’m not myself.

I knew that I was putting the poor boy through my emotional hell. And I couldn’t allow myself to leave my emotions in his hands because I was incapable of looking after it myself. Then I made the rash decision to end things. I walked away.

I walked away because I wasn’t doing him any favours and because I wasn’t doing myself any favours. It’s true what they say – how can you learn to love someone else when you can’t even love yourself?


Walking away is hard because you don’t want to seem like you’ve given up but you also don’t want to be stuck in something that can’t go forward because you’re busy trying to keep it and your life afloat.

While I’ve spent the last few days allowing the reality of what I’ve done sink in and wondering whether or not I’ve made the right decision, ultimately I know I need to remind myself that I need to do what it takes to make sure I’m happy. While it hurts now, I’m proud of myself for doing these two things and owning them. I know it’ll get easier.

Right now, I need to give myself the time and effort I need to grow and be happy. And while I don’t believe in fate or destiny, I know that if things were meant to be, they’ll be. Now I’m signing out to go make some more important decisions… watch this space.

I will however leave you with this message:

Dear reader, never give up on yourself. You were destined for great things. If you’re going through a rough time, remember to give yourself the opportunity to show you that your life can be better and everything will be okay.


It’s going to be okay

Hey kid,

It’s going to be okay. You’re worried about never finding a boyfriend. Guess what: you do. You’re worried about disappointing your parents by deciding to leave uni cause you’re not happy. They’re not disappointed. You’re mad because you spend monies on dumb things. Bad news: you still do.

I know it seems like life feels completely and utterly hopeless right now because you’re stuck in a ‘set room’ with a shitty roommate, you don’t have many friends, your family’s far away, you’re lost and confused because you want to study everything and nothing and worst of all, you’re still a virgin at 18. But remember last summer? Fish and chips, lying on all the grass in New Plymouth, driving missions, hanging out at beaches and Rihanna’s ‘Please don’t stop the music’? It was the best summer ever – hold on to those memories because they’ll help get you through the rough.


Right now, you’re probably thinking about Lachie down the hall and how your floor mates thought it’d be funny to lock you in his room that night. He was so nice to you! Should’ve just kissed him. But you didn’t and that’s okay (unfortunately, you two don’t end up together. Weirdly enough, you still think about him but very occasionally. I’m still trying to work out why you do).

Let me tell you about your future. You’re going to go through so many emotions in the coming months – both good and bad. You’re going to test your friendship with an old workmate and I’m sorry to say, you’re going to disappoint her. Not once, but twice. And worst of all, over a boy. Actually, two boys. It’s okay, you eventually learn your lesson.

Right now, you feel like you’re always going to be one of the boys and die a virgin with 60 million cats. But you’re not (well the 60 million cats is still up for debate). You’re going to get noticed. In fact, the big v-plate ends with one of your best friends. You’re also going to think you love him. This is when you realise that with intimacy, comes a lot of confusion.

You’re also going to trust too easily and it’s gonna take one boy to destroy your trust. Oh, plus your low self-esteem. I’m sorry to say you’re going to carry your distrust into other relationships and it’s going to take the most patient man to tolerate you. You’re going to have to work really hard to be better at trust.

You’re going to go on a rampage where you think it’s okay to hurt other boys because you’ve been hurt. You’re going to pretend like you don’t care and you’re going to give yourself freely because you like feeling like you’re in control. You know how you’re always afraid of rejection so you don’t do anything about it and you admire people that pour their heart out and think people that reject others are fuckwits? Guess what, you become somewhat of a fuckwit.

You’ll trample on boys’ feelings when they take the leap and tell you how they feel because it’s easier for you to not care. You’re going to be the master of ‘ghosting’. Then, the tables will turn and you’ll meet someone who gives you the world and treats you the way you deserve. But because you don’t trust anyone, even yourself, you’re going to hurt him and you’re going to fuck things up. You’re going to realise what you’ve done and you’re going to go through a lot of pain. I’m sorry but there’s no going back on that one.

But it’s not all that bad. You’re going to grow closer to your family (unfortunately, you’re going to continue relying on Father). You get a proper job and you’re good at it. You’re going to wake up and learn to love yourself. You’re going to enjoy your own company and you’re going to concentrate on being a better you. And yes, you’re working really, really hard to trust again. You’re still battling confidence but you’re working towards improving it. You really are so you should be proud. The only thing you should be disappointed about is the fact that you’re still shit when it comes to money and saving.


Remember that when the going gets tough, you get tougher. You’ve experienced and learnt so much and you survived. You’re a survivor. Don’t be afraid of what’s to come because despite all the shit, you’ve done so much good and you’re continuing to do good for yourself, your family, your friends and your future. And when you feel alone, you need to remember you’re never alone.

I promise you kid it’s going to be okay. Everything keeps getting better. So don’t be afraid. Smile.

xoxo Future you

p.s. bitch, can’t believe you cried when you turned 18. you’re now on the wrong end of 20, wishing you could go back.

p.p.s. you’re still trying to replicate summer 2007 because every summer since just can’t seem to beat it. good luck!

photo credit: the lovely dawnchapmanphoto (yes I’m her back model). check out her stuffs yo!

A tale as old as time…

At 7.00pm on Wednesday 29 March 2017, I went to the cinema and watched the advanced screening of Beauty and the Beast. Where do I begin?

Let’s begin from the beginning. Like a typical 90s kid, Beauty and the Beast is hands down my favourite Disney cartoon. The music, the moral of the story, the longing to be just like Belle and my god, that library. I watch the Disney cartoon at least once a year and it just never gets old. It’s beautiful, it’s terrifying and it just takes me back to my carefree childhood.


Photo credit: ohmy.disney on Pinterest

When I heard they were making a movie, I’m not going to lie: I was terrified and very, very skeptical. Even though I’m a fan of Emma Watson, when you’re recreating a classic Disney cartoon, it can either be incredible, average or well, ridiculous. I didn’t want my childhood to be ruined because the director had a vision that was way off from mine.

For those of you who don’t know what Beauty and the Beast is about (god forbid!), quick summary: Arrogant prince is transformed into a Beast by a disguised enchantress. Everyone in his household is transformed into inanimate objects. To break the spell, the Beast must learn to love another and earn their love. Belle, a small town bibliophile, takes the place of her father as the Beast’s prisoner because he picked a rose from his garden. During her stay, she grows closer to the Beast and they fall for one another. Oh and he gifts her an incredible library. Her father is mocked by the villagers for asking for their help to save Belle and narcissistic Gaston sends him to a madhouse. Belle, witnessing this through an enchanted mirror, is freed by the Beast to save her father. She shows the villagers the Beast through the mirror to prove that he’s real and her father isn’t mad. Everyone freaks and they go to the castle to kill the Beast. They’re attacked by the inanimate objects. Gaston tries to kill Beast. Beast gets shot and Gaston falls to his death. Beast is dying and the last petal on the enchanted rose falls before Belle tells Beast she loves him. Belle somehow manages to break the spell anyways and then everyone turns back to human and they live happily ever after. The end*.


Photo credit: lolalambchops on Pinterest

Fast-forward to Wednesday and well, I had to refrain myself from singing out loud to all the known tunes and weeping tears of joy. When it came to the scene of Beast vs Gaston, I lost all self control. I was in tears. I couldn’t stop crying and you know when you go to the movies and it’s a sad scene so a few drops of tears dribble down and then you wipe them away and it’s okay again?

Well this wasn’t that situation. I cried and cried and cried. I felt like I was crying of a broken heart andthen Belle breaks the spell and everyone becomes human, I cried tears of complete and utter joy. So much joy. I can’t even begin. Even more joyous was realizing whom the different actors were that acted as the ‘live’ inanimate objects like Lumiere, Cogsworth and Mrs Pots. Freaking lost my mind when they turned into human. I left the cinema with panda eyes and mascara on the side of my face.

So how do I think Bill Condon did in recreating a childhood classic? He did a pretty good job. There were some added scenes that didn’t quite follow the original but they worked pretty well. You can also really sense the studio-created backdrops for some of the scenes but it’s not tragic that you’d hate it. Well, I didn’t anyways.

Condon also did pretty well with the casting. All the actors fitted their characters very well and it was great seeing the on-screen veterans like Ian McKellen, Stanley Tucci, Ewan McGregor and the ravishing Emma Thompson.

Would I watch it again? Yes, yes I would. My birthday is in 4 days. I think I might just go to the movies and watch it again.

ticket_beauty and the beast

*It’s not the best synopsis but if you want to read more, I’m sure my uncle Google will give you a more detailed plot outline. Also, there’s always the option to watch the movie… wink wink